Missing and Remembering

The impact of military service is complicated and consequential - often forging strength, wisdom and camaraderie in those who serve. But, as any veteran can tell you, the experience is often dangerous, and sometimes wonderful people do not survive their military service.

The veteran community has remarkable traditions and techniques for remembering those who are lost while serving, which is an all-too-frequent occurrence for active duty servicemembers and veterans.

Memorial Day is a day when all Americans join the military community to share the burden of loss, and to support those who lost a friend, a brother, a sister, a parent, or a child who was serving in the United States Armed Forces.

Throughout May, Heart and Armor honored the lives of sixteen fallen friends. We remembered them alongside 100-year-old Marine Corps vet Reverend William Greason in Birmingham, who shared still-clear memories of friends he lost eighty years ago at the Battle of Iwo Jima. (Click for video)

We carried their memories and legacies by performing acts of service in their honor. We have provided care packages to troops overseas with our friends from Operation Care and Comfort and the San Francisco Giants. We provided meals to veterans who live in the Presidio at the Jon W. Paulson Veterans CommunIty over the Memorial Day weekend.

We were honored to be joined by members of the St. Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants, who wore warmup shirts with their names printed on the sleeves.

Lastly, we funded a substantial series of scientific projects in their names - supporting veterans who do return from military duty bearing scars from their service.

For those feeling the absences of loved ones on Memorial Day 2025 - from military service or otherwise - today is a day we can share grief and memories and laughter together. Our thoughts are with you.

We hope readers and members of our community will take a moment to acknowledge the following sixteen men and women who died during their military service.

They are no longer with us, but they are important to us.

Never replaced, never forgotten.

Please join us in remembering them.

Sgt. Justin Allen, US Army

Cpt. Travis Brannon, US Marine Corps

Lt. Valerie Cappelaere Delaney, US Navy

Cpl. Hubert Duverney, US Marine Corps

Spc. Dakotah Gooding, US Army

Cpt. Thomas Heitmann, US Marine Corps

Col. Paul Kelly, Army National Guard

Sgt. Rene Knox, US Army

Sgt. Chad Lake, US Army

Cpl. Sean Langevin, US Army

Maj. Evan Mooldyk, US Army

Sgt. Arthur Mora, US Army

Pfc. Caesar Viglienzone, US Army

Maj. Adrianna Vorderbruggen, US Air Force

SSgt. John Anthony Vergallito, US Marine Corps

Pvt. James Wilkins, US Marine Corps

The Grief Recovery Handbook, by John James and Russell Friedman

Courage After Fire, by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best, and Paula Domenici

Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death, by Bonnie Carroll and Alan D. Wolfelt

Grief, Bereavement, and Positive Psychology, Journal of Counseling and Psychology, 2016

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) (National program for survivors)